The Two Voices
Choose Wonder Over Worry by Amber Rae
Inside our minds there is a nasty little voice, a saboteur, a censor, and an eternal critic who creates a constant stream of scathing remarks that are usually disguised as The Truth. I call this voice Worry.
Wonder knows what we’re capable of, and is committed to nudging us closer and closer to who we were before the world told us who to be. Wonder supports us in deciphering between the disempowering stories we inherited and made up, and the stories that strike the chord of resonance from within.
When Worry is on its high horse, declaring, You’re not actually going to say that, right?, Wlonder will ever so clearly state, You are here to speak your truth. Today, Tomorrow, Always. Is what you want to say a reflection of your truth.
And when Worry is inclined to keep the same soundtrack of judgement and fear and anxiety playing over and over and over again.
Worry and Wonder are perpetually pointing us away from or toward who we truly are and what we’re here to give. In every moment every day, we get to choose whom we listen to: Worry or Wonder.
Not all worry is destructive. It can be useful. Useful worry is the foresight to imagine set backs and challenges, make a plan, and take action. Worry is useful only when it’s within our control and empowers us to act. So when our Worry voice chimes in, we can ask two questions:
- Is this a real possibility?
- Is there any productive action I can take right now?
Introduction to Worry Myths
1. ” I’m doing what I thought I was ‘supposed to be doing.’ and I hate it.” Meet Should. Answer these questions, “What I should do?”, “Do I want to?”, “What I could do instead and my next move is _____________________. Your life, your way.
2. “Can I really trust myself?” Meet Self-Doubt.” Name three times you acted on your truth & it led you to learn and grow. To trust yourself is to act on your truth.
3. ” I don’t have enough time.” meet Totally Stressed Out. Fill in the blanks, ” I want ____________, I want more ____________”,” So I choose _____________” , “and will stop when _____________”. Will the one thing.
4. “I’m torn.” Meet Uncertainty. Fill in the blanks,”I’m afraid of _____ because________. My future self says. My evidence to prove this is NOT true is.______. Revise it (revise a more empowering story). Name it to tame it.
5. “Why not me?” Meet Envy. Make three columns on page and list 5 – 10. First column reads “I’m envious of, Second Column Because, third column, my next move is. Envy is inspiration in disguise.
6. ” I feel behind”. Meet comparison. Piece of paper and make 2 columns. First Column reads Getting Ahead eg. Competitive, second column Coming Alive eg. Collaborative.
7. Am I worthy of Love?” Meet Unlovable. Make a list of ways to love yourself: eg. journal, meditate, say “I love you” to self.
8. “They rejected me…. Again.” Meet Defeat. Name 3 times you persevered in the face of rejection & defeat.
9. Who the heck am I to do this? (I’m a fraud.)” Meet Imposter Syndrome. What is my imposter side of me saying (write down until it is heard and exhausted and then write down what is my soul trying to tell you.
10. “I can’t do that! Judge Me.” Meet Hiding. Yes they might judge you. But who they’re judging is themselves. Ask self If criticism and judgment didn’t matter, what would you do? Say? Focus on? Be all of you; not less.
11. “Oh God. Look at Them.” Meet Judgment. Fill in the blanks, “I’m feeling ____(emotion) with ______(name) because _______ (situation). I want her/him/them to __________________(action. If she/he/they did, that would have me feel _____________________(emotion). I can create that feeling for myself by _____________ (action). What they are reflecting in me is __________________ (insight). They are a reflection of you.
12. “Are they a threat?” Meet Jealousy. Fill in the blanks, the last time I felt jealous was _______, How I responded is ____________, the way I want to respond next time is ___________. Let jealousy bring you closer together.
13. What the __________????? Meet Anger. Fill in the blanks, I acted out my anger when I ________________, My anger was telling me ___________________, To act upon my anger, I will __________________.
14. “No pain, no gain.” Meet Suffering. Ask, What would it look like to put love & joy at the center of what you creat? What might change. Let love lead the way.
15. “I’m terrified of going there.” Meet Avoidance. Fill in the blanks, I’m avoid ____________ because _______________.
What I need is ________________. My next move is ________________________.
16. “There’s no way I can handle this.” Meet Overwhelmed. Set a daily intention. Ways to respect the process. Map it out – your way.
17. “My mind is racing.” Meet Anxiety. Answer, If my anxiety is a signal that something is out of alignment, what it’s trying to tell me is _____________ Anxiety is your friend, not your foe.
18. “That didn’t go how I expected.” Meet Loss. Answer, The loss I haven’t grieved yet is ______________________, the reason I’m avoiding it is ___________________, To grieve & feel it fully, I will ________________. Feel your feelings – all the way through.
19. “I’m running away from myself.” Meet addiction. Let’s get real. Fill in the blanks. The habits that block my gifts are _______________________, The payoff is _______________________, moving forward, I will _________________. Trust in your gifts.
20. “I must never make mistakes.” Meet perfectionism. Three columns on page. First Column mistake eg. uncertainty, second column paralyzing perfection, eg. I’m doing it wrong. Third column, Healthy Striving, eg. I’m find my way. Also on sheet of paper, one column heading “My old definition of enough (which has me feel crappy): second column heading My new definition of enough (which has me feeling alive). Your life, your definition.
21. “I have something to prove.” Meet Hustling for approval. Fill in the blanks. By __________________(action), I’m trying to prove that I’m ____________ When I do prove myself, I will feel _______________(emotion). To feel that way now, I can instead ____________________(action). If I had nothing to prove, I would _________________(thought or action). My heart wants me to remember to ______________ (insight). You want to BE!!!!! Not faster, better, smarter and enough.
Positive Balancing Thoughts
– Elizabeth Gilbert –
There is no learning to let go, or trying to let go. There is just letting go. – Lori Deschene –
The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me? – ayn Rand –
I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them. – John Stuart Mill
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. – Barbara De Angelis –
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently. – Bill Watterson –