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Time For Self Newsletter November 2016

Difference Between Alone and Loneliness

Of the many clients I have worked with using the Yuen Method™ / Personal Transformation, I have found the topic of loneliness being discussed time and time again. A lot of this is due to past traumas, events, and experiences that need to be shifted so that awareness could be brought into view. Personal Transformation is powerful and life changing if you are up to becoming a seeker of who you are in the present and not a victim of your past.

Loneliness is a deeply, unpleasant feeling; one that often triggers depression and damages self-esteem. Experienced for years on end, it can even lead to physical illness, increasing your risk of everything from cancer to heart disease. It can occur at any period of life, from infancy to old age. And it is not experienced only by the isolated. Indeed, you can live alone and not be lonely, just as you can be surrounded by friends and family yet feel desperate.

Understanding Loneliness by Keith Hillman

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Lonely people feel the way they do because they lack a deep bond with another human being. Some do not want, or need, that bond and are content within their isolation. Others lack this sense of deep connection even though they have a partner, children, and plenty of friends.

The problem with loneliness is that people aren’t always the solution. This may sound odd, but it is true. You can fill your life with people and find that nothing has changed. On the contrary, fill your life with the wrong people, those with whom you have nothing in common, who do not share your sense of humor, or interests, or view of the world, and it may intensify your sense of loneliness and isolation.

Many people never admit just how lonely they really are. This is especially true of the young. It is as if they feel that by doing so, they are admitting to being unlikeable. Loneliness is a complicated beast. You might be beautiful, witty, and popular and yet still feel dreadfully isolated. Remember, if you do feel lonely, it probably has nothing to do with how likable you are.

How to Overcome Loneliness

If you are sure that loneliness is the problem, try overcoming it in stages:

1) Find the right sorts of people

Consider the sorts of people you wish to meet. Make a list of hobbies and interests. Now look around for any local clubs or groups. Nothing bonds people quicker than a shared passion.

2) Have something to offer

When young and single, people have more time to form shallow, casual friendships. As they age, pursue a career, and raise children, they become far more choosy, seeking to form friendships only with those who have something to offer. Take an interest in as wide a range of subjects as possible, and learn to empathize with other’s problems. You need to offer more than a wish to be liked! If people sense that you are lonely and desperate for a friend, they will avoid you.

3) Arrange to meet somewhere different

This is where it gets tricky. Anyone can join a local sports club or reading group, and get chatting to people. The hard part is turning such casual acquaintanceships into deep, loving friendships. First, you must move the relationship to a new setting. For example, if you have joined a book club and each week you chat to the same person, find a reason to meet outside of the class. If they mention that they need to get fit, tell them you have also been meaning to get in shape and suggest joining a gym or yoga class together.

4) Let them in

Those who spend a lot of time alone often find it difficult to allow other people to get close to them. However, in order to establish a true, lasting friendship, you must first establish intimacy. But this will only flourish in the right setting.

Many people succeed with the first four stages, then allow the relationship to falter. Don’t lose your nerve. If they agreed to walk their dog with you, or they have been giving you a lift to the new exercise class, they must like you. Exchange phone numbers, add them on social media and introduce them to your family and friends. Again, you must use your judgment. A tightrope must be walked between neglecting the friendship and becoming a pest.

The world owes you nothing. Many lonely people literally sulk at home and blame others for not reaching out to them. But you cannot expect other people to ride to your rescue. You must go out there and seize hold of life. Above all, you must be patient and determined. Don’t allow a couple of bad experiences to put you off. Finally, remember that all human relationships are based upon “give and take.” If you want a good friend, you must be a good friend.

What is Normal?

This is a common topic where nobody really knows the meaning, less what it suppose to look like or how it is supposed to feel.

Loosely described, “normality” is the state of being “normal”, as opposed to being deviant, eccentric or unusual. Normal is also used to describe individual behavior that conforms to the most common behavior in society. Someone being seen as “normal” or “not normal” can experience social ramifications, such as being included or excluded or stigmatized by larger society.

The problem lies in our individual perception of what “normal” really is. And this sometimes paralyzes us because we focus on what is “wrong” with us, rather that what is “right.” However, who exactly are we comparing our “normal” too? Are we judging ourselves based on what other people depict as “normal” or are we creating our own diagnosis?

As an example, for some people, normal means living “without the symptoms of their disorder” should they find themselves relieved of health issues that are severe and debilitating toward living their everyday life. However, there are people without a diagnosed health condition who still don’t feel “normal” due to daily stresses, struggle with relationships, and so on. So which scenario has merit, and which does not?

The point is simple — there is no “normal.” Rather, it is a homeostasis we try to maintain in our constantly changing environment. None of us live a “normal” life because there’s no such thing.

It is best to think of “normal” as a range of life experiences where we can live the life we want, without significant health or mental health impediments. It still has its ups and downs and it still has moments where we question our own sanity, but it’s relatively predictable with routines that feel familiar but not necessarily suffocating.

“Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine.” — Whoopi Goldberg

“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be..” — Maya Angelou

If you are interested in seeking to understand yourself more, and where this loneliness started, please contact me for more information or to start your journey. http://timeforself.net/contact/

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net

October 23, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter October 2016

Practical Enlightenment by Ariel & Shya Kane

When you are operating as though what happens in your life is supposed to happen, then life becomes an adventure. When life is a discovery; an ever-expanding experience of living, and when every occurrence is held as though it is perfect, you are enlightened. When you feel a genuine “Yes!” to how life is showing up, or when you interact with the people you meet as though you are meant to be there with them — then this moment is your destiny, and life becomes a joy.

Instantaneous transformation happens when you are living in the current moment of your life. This moment – right now – is all there is. Something in the future will not get here until it does, and when it does, it will occur as a moment of now.

Anything that you disagree with is what you are stuck with, however, what you allow to just be the way it is, allows you the freedom to be yourself. This moment is perfect exactly as it is.

The moment we stopped working on ourselves to get “better”, our lives instantaneously transformed. This has profoundly impacted everything. What we have learned is not to take ourselves so seriously and not to work so hard to get somewhere. We have learned that life shows up exactly as it does in each moment, and it rarely, if ever, shows up to meet our exact preferences. If meeting your preferences determines your well-being, chances are that you’ll never feel well, even if you meet your goals, thus operating as though what happens in your life is supposed to happen is “practical enlightenment.”

We often hear people say, “Okay, I accept this situation. It is what it is.” Roughly translated, that means, “I don’t like it… but I’ll get over it.” This kind of acceptance is a “No” in disguise. When you are a “No” to your life, even if it is disguised, then your well-being or lack thereof is blamed on circumstances. You can either be the victim of your life or the author of your life. As the victim of your life, circumstances determine your sense of well-being, satisfaction, and accomplishment. If it doesn’t work out, it’s always caused from outside you. What we’re talking about it is truly being a “Yes” to the way your life is unfolding, in each moment.

Your life shows up as a reflection of how you are “being.” All is unfolding exactly as it is intended to. When you disagree with the way your life is showing up, which, by the way, is how we have all been taught to relate to life, then you are in a constant state of incompletion and disharmony. If you are resisting the way your life is showing up and say “No”, you perpetuate those very things you resist. Being a “Yes” to your life and the way your life is showing up in each moment shifts your reality and allows you to truly take control. Saying “Yes” and meaning it is a skill set. With practice, you’ll get better at being a “Yes”, regardless of the circumstances.

YOUR THOUGHTS CREATE YOUR EMOTIONS — A Guide to the Present Moment By Noah Elkrief

Emotions seem inevitable and inescapable while you’re in their grip. If you’re willing to look at your life with real honesty, it is possible to discover that your emotions are all created by thoughts in your mind – thoughts about yourself, your relationships, your situations, your past, your future and each of them can vanish in an instant if you just stop believing these thoughts to be true.

If a random person tells you, “The world is going to end tomorrow”, and you believe this, how would you feel? You will likely experience fear. But if you didn’t believe them, then how would their comment make you feel? You almost certainly wouldn’t feel any fear. If a co-worker tells you, “I deleted all of your emails!”, and you believe them, how do you think you would feel? You would probably get angry. But if your co-worker told you this, and you didn’t believe them at all because they are always joking around, then how do you think you would feel? You surely wouldn’t experience anger because there would be not be anything to be angry about.

These scenarios demonstrate that when you believe someone’s words to be true, they create emotions. But when you don’t believe someone’s words, their words don’t have the power to create emotions. The same is true of the thoughts (words) in your mind. If you believe a negative thought about yourself or your life, that thought will create an unwanted emotion. However, if you don’t believe that thought, it quite simply won’t create the unwanted emotion.

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net

October 3, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter August 2016
What is Your I AM? How Short-Term Massive Action Equals Long Term Maximum Results by Honoree Corder

I AM. Two of the most powerful words in the English language (or any language), for what you put after them shapes your reality.

I am awesome! I am fabulous! I am terrific! I am beautiful! I am capable!

Do these statements resemble what you say when you talk to yourself? Or do these following examples sound more like you:

I am tired. I am bad at (insert something here). I am incapable. I am unable. I am a failure.

If you are saying things after your “I AM” that are dis-empowering to you, it’s time for an upgrade. I have heard people say, “I am not able to do that. I am always late. I am always out of time…” …and so on. Whoa! Stop the truck and back that sucker up!

The only things you’re not able to do are the things you tell yourself you’re not able to do. Your self-talk is critical to your success. Either you speak to yourself in an empowering way, or you don’t. If you don’t, you’re doing yourself a major, colossal, avoidable disservice.

I’ve seen people start their first 100 days enthusiastically, charged up, and ready to go; however after few successes, missteps, and many challenges, they are ready to give up. When we dig just below the surface to find out what’s going on, it’s inevitably their self-talk that needs an overhaul. Their “I AM” statements are directing them down a specific path, and it’s not the path they want to be on.

If negative self-talk describes you to a “T”, I understand. There is a tendency to speak unkindly to ourselves, and it’s so prevalent I would consider it the norm in our society. The good news is you can easily correct how you speak to yourself, and it’s free! Smile.

Perhaps you didn’t realize that every single time you say “I AM” in a sentence, you are simultaneously sending a direct order and a confirmation to your brain exactly how you truly feel about yourself and what you expect. You are actually sending a command to your subconscious mind and telling every cell of your body how to respond.

Here’s how to get the most out of your “I AM” statements. On your way to work or on the way to taking your kids to school, have everyone in the car say your “I AM” statements out loud and with as much enthusiasm as possible. “I AM” statement examples are as follows:
- I AM brilliant
- I AM loved
- I AM kind
- I AM generous
- I AM enthusiastic
- I AM happy
If you want something you don’t have, then add:
- I AM finding new and perfect clients
- I AM well-compensated
- I AM excited about the opportunities that will show up for me today
- I AM treated with respect
You can add “I AM” statements for every aspect of your business and personal life. Then, watch what happens. Not only are you raising your energy and vibration to a higher level, which will positively impact everyone around you, you will positively impact yourself and your results. This process will make you feel amazing. Trust me on this. Now stand back and watch the magic happen.

“Your words become your life. Choose each one of them wisely.” — Honoree Corder

Let Life Love You: The Grace Factor to Opening the Door to Infinite Love by Alan Cohen

Grace is the recognition that fear is the liar. Behind the oppressive illusions that keep the world enslaved in despair, we are enfolded in well-being far beyond what our mortal minds can imagine.

To step into our true deserving, we must question and challenge the beliefs in lack and unworthiness we have been taught, and find reasons for our greater deservingness. We are always arguing for our limits or for our possibilities, and we always get more of what we are claiming. The universe is just as willing to deliver riches of all kinds as it is to deliver lack and problems. Actually, the universe is more ready to deliver abundance than lack, for abundance is our natural state. When we open to receive our good, we are in alignment with the will of our Higher Being, which is delighted to give us what we truly want and what it wants for us – which are one in the same.

Grow Your Basket

If you would like to expand your capacity to receive, here is a powerful visualization I use in my seminars. Participants report that this helps them in a big way to allow more good into their lives.

Close your eyes and imagine you are sitting in a chair with a bowl or basket on your lap. This receptacle can be made of wood, wicker, ceramics, glass, crystal, or any other material you like. In your vision, look up and visualize an infinite sky composed of a vast fountain of energy in the form of gold light. You are looking up at utter abundance.

This golden energy represents something you wish to have more of in your life: money, a rewarding relationship, a passion-filled career, robust health — anything you deeply value and yearn for. Now choose one element of life you would like to expand your experience in.

Imagine that the golden energy is pouring down on you like rain. As it flows down, you capture in your bowl or basket some of the energy or goals you desire. You are delighted to receive such substance of good. Meanwhile, notice there is much more substance pouring down around you than you are capturing in your container.

In your mind, now, expand your container. Push the edges of the bowl or basket outward by 25 percent. Now that your container is larger, you are receiving more of what your heart desires. Notice how good it feels to receive more.

When your container is full, expand it again so it grows even larger, to at least 50 percent more than its original size. You are capturing even more of your value substance. Notice how rewarding it feels to let more substance in!

When you are ready, expand your bowl one more time so it is twice its original size. Now your experience of prosperity is double what you started out with. What a wonderful feeling! Take some time to be with your expanded experience.

Next, imagine that you can receive this light/energy/substance directly into your body. Visualize it flowing in through the top of your head, then cascading like a waterfall down through your neck, shoulders, arms, hands, torso, hips, legs, and feet. You are the container for your good, and you are allowing yourself to be filled completely. Take as long as you like to enjoy the feeling of receiving abundant prosperity.

When you are ready, return your awareness to your waking state, richly expanded in your capacity to receive what you value.

The Six Power of Nice Principles by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval

1) Positive impressions are like seeds. You plant them and forget about them, but underneath the surface, they are growing and expanding, often exponentially. Every time you smile at a messenger, laugh at a coworker’s joke, thank an assistant or treat a stranger with graciousness and respect, you throw off positive energy. That energy makes an impression on the other person that, in turn, is passed along and imprinted on the myriad others you meet. Such imprints have a multiplier effect, and ultimately, those favorable impressions find their way back to you. The power of nice has a domino effect.

2) You never know. When we meet strangers on the street, we usually assume they aren’t important to us. We usually avoid contact with the person sitting next to us on the bus, plane, etc. We automatically assume that the thinking is this person has nothing to do with our life.

Why do we assume? This person could be a family member of your boss, or a real estate person who knows of a home that you are looking for, or the head of a foundation that could give your fledgling charity the backing it desperately needs. The bottom line is, this person is an important person to many people. You have to treat everyone you meet as if they are the most important person in the world because they are — perhaps not at this moment, but what about tomorrow?

3) People change. One common mistake people make is assuming that you only have to be nice to your peers and their superiors. There’s no need to be nice to an assistant or receptionist, much less a security guard or a cleaning person. After all, they can’t do anything for you – they have no power. That may or may not be true – now. But you have no idea who might become quite important to you ten, twenty, or thirty years from now.

4) Nice must be automatic. A friend recently told us the story of three consulting companies vying for a very large contract. They did a terrific presentation but it was unsuccessful. It turned out that when the prospective client arrived at the airport, an executive from one of the consulting firms neglected to help with her bags. He lost the contract right there. She was miffed at his rudeness and lack of manners and decided that she didn’t want to do business with them. Although their teamed had worked day and night to give the client a knockout presentation, and the entire account was lost over a suitcase.

5) Negative impressions are like germs. Whenever you are aloof to someone who you think “doesn’t matter,” people unconsciously react to that. You might get a better table if you scream at a waitress for service, but we can assure you that your date will silently be saying, “Check, please.” Just as positive actions are like seeds, rude gestures and remarks are like germs – you may not see the impact they have on you for a while, but they are there, silently infecting you and everyone around you.

Not spreading germs means being extremely conscientious about your environment and the people around you. Because even a simple misunderstanding can create a negative impression. Impressions are in the eye of the beholder, and one bad impression can infect everything else you do.

6) You will know. Even if you never see a person you have treated badly again, even if no one sees or knows of your rudeness or bad behavior, you will know. It will be in your mind and heart when you walk into a meeting and try to convince the people in the room that they should put their faith in you. Because you won’t believe in yourself, you could jeopardize the outcome of a meeting or relationship.

The power of nice is not about running around manically smiling and doing everyone’s bidding, all the while calculating what you’ll get in return. It’s not about being phony or manipulative. It’s about valuing niceness – in yourself and in others – the same way you respect intelligence, beauty or talent. Niceness is a powerful force. In fact, it can literally save your life. For the next week, do five nice things that have no immediate payoff for you. Say “thank you” to others. Ask those you meet about their lives. Compliment a stranger.

The Daily Joy Corner

“Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.” — Albert Camus

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.” — Tich Nhat Hanh

“Puttering is really a time to be alone, to dream and to get in touch with yourself. To putter is to discover.” — Alexandra Stoddard

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net
August 9, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter July 2016
Hanging Circumstances Isn’t Enough to Give Us the Happiness We Want – A guide to the Present Moment by Noah Elkrief

Changing circumstances to “perfect” isn’t enough to give us the happiness we want. Since getting what we want seems to make us happy, naturally, we are going to keep spending much of our life trying to make ourselves, our situation, and others “perfect”. But, as we may have come to realize that this strategy doesn’t really fulfill us. We tend to live life with a lot of suffering and discontent between our brief moments of happiness. When we get what we want, we only experience the present moment for a few minutes or days before our attention goes back to our other thoughts. The reason changing our circumstance to “perfect” isn’t enough to give us the overall peace and happiness we are looking for is because it just doesn’t address most of the thoughts that create our unhappiness.

— No matter how “perfect” our circumstances are, they don’t change our thoughts about “bad” events from our past that create our sadness, guilt, and anger.

— We can’t change many of the aspects of ourselves and others that we think are bad.

— We aren’t always able to achieve our ideas of “perfect”, such as our spouse, job, etc. When we don’t get what we want, our thoughts create sadness, anger, guilt or despair.

— When we manage to achieve the “perfect” circumstances we want, we often instantly begin to fear and worry about losing it.

— We can always lose any “great” circumstances that we have. When this happens, our thoughts clearly make use suffer.

— Changing circumstances can’t help to alleviate most of our anxiety.

— As long as we believe in our ideas of “perfect” circumstances, we will also believe our ideas of “imperfect” circumstances. “Perfect” doesn’t exist without “imperfect” because “perfect” isn’t “perfect” unless we have something to compare it against.

— If you have already gotten a lot of what you wanted in life, you may feel a sense of relief to understand why you aren’t fulfilled, and it may be nice to know that you are not the only one who is dissatisfied.

The promise of happiness almost always seems to be in the future. And it always will be in the future unless we start to address that our thoughts are preventing us from feeling happy. It’s time to go to the source of our unwanted emotions and directly address the thoughts hat are making us unhappy.

The 5 steps that you can take now are:
1. Pick an unwanted emotion. For example, resentment, guilt towards friend or partner.
2. Identify the thoughts behind your unwanted emotions. These thoughts generally appear as whatever we think caused our emotions, for example: “my husband shouldn’t have shown up late.”
3. Recognize that your emotion has been created by your thoughts and not your circumstances. Question your thoughts, not your circumstances, that have created your unwanted emotion. Questions you might ask yourselfa) How do I feel when I think this thought or tell myself this story?
  b) Could I or someone else be happy despite having the same factual circumstances?
  
  c) If I didn’t know that the event had happened, would I still be suffering?
  
  d) Am I able to be happy (have fun) when I am being entertained and distracted from my thoughts?
  
  e) What are the facts and what are my thoughts about the facts?
4. Realize that you don’t always know whether your thought is true — “She is to blame for what happened… but do I know for sure?”
5. Question the validity of any reason to continue suffering. For example:
  a) Do anger and sadness help me to get what I want?
  
  b) Does worrying mean I am being helpful or does it mean I that care?
  
  c) Can I admit that I don’t really know or that I was wrong?
  
  d) Do I really want to keep blaming others for my suffering?
Return to Essence: How to be in the Flow and Fulfil Your Life’s purpose by Gina Lake

Paying attention to the egoic mind is a bad habit, but we can establish new habits that counteract our egoic programming and bring us into the flow. Here are some suggestions for developing habits that will bring you into the flow and help you stay there:

1. Make a habit of doing things that return you to your to essence: meditate, play music, sing, dance, create, garden, hike. Do what you love.

2. Make a habit of reading books that remind you of who you are.

3. Make a habit of spending time with those who are committed to living in the flow.

4. Make a habit of saying “yes!” to whatever is happening. Be curious about whatever is arising. Stay alert and present to whatever is happening, without judging or evaluating it.

5. Make a habit of expressing gratitude. That will increase your ability to experience it. Gratitude is a sign that you are in Essence.

6. Make a habit of forgiving yourself when you indulge in egoic behavior. It’s not easy moving beyond the programming we were given! Being gentle and kind with yourself will drop you into Essence.

Reassurance for Life’s Journey – A Bouquet of Positives

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” — Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” — Wayne W. Dyer

“You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously.” — J. Donald Walters

“The trouble with life isn’t that there is not an answer, it’s that there are so many answers.” — Ruth Fulton Benedict

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net
July 29, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter May 2016

Self-Care: Me-Time and the Importance Of It

At first it might feel uncomfortable, but it is so necessary to protect our mental, emotional and physical health. Even 15 min per day where you can focus on you and feed your soul. A good book, a glass of wine or tea, yoga, meditation, walk around the block, energizing music, it’s important to “Just Do It.”

When you do this, you will attract emotionally healthy people into your life when you take good emotional care of yourself.

In today’s constantly connected world, finding solitude has become a lost art. Western culture tends to equate a desire for solitude with who are lonely, sad, or have antisocial tendencies. But seeking solitude can actually be quite healthy. There are many physical and psychological benefits to spending time alone.

1. Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind.
2. Solitude helps to improve concentration and increase productivity.
3. Solitude provides time for you to think deeply
4. Solitude helps you work through problems more effectively.
5. Solitude gives you an opportunity to discover yourself and find your own voice
6. Solitude can enhance the quality of your relationships with others.

Despite knowing these benefits, it can be a challenge to find time alone in a world that seems to never sleep.

Here are a few ides to help you find more time to spend with yourself.

1. Disconnect – turn off cell phones, tv, radio, internet.
2. Get Up or Get early – Wake up 1/2 hour earlier than everyone in house and use time to create, produce, problem solve, mediate. Get to work before everyone else.
3. Close your door – to reduce interruptions
4. Use your lunch time – don’t spend lunch time at desk. Don’t do errands. Sit outside in the sun, go to the park and eat, enjoy time alone.
4. Schedule solitude – just like appointment etc.

Therapeutic Benefits Using Adult Coloring Books

Coloring books as just as beneficial for adults as they are for children. There are many scientific studies that prove the benefits listed below.

Some of the benefits are:

1. Coloring pages help to de-stress.
2. Coloring activities activate both parts of the cerebral hemisphere.
3. Coloring pages for adults take them back to childhood, stress free days.
4. Coloring is like mediation
5. Coloring for adults helps reduce anxiety
6. Coloring for adults helps them re-discover themselves
7. Coloring for adults is a perfect therapy for many diseases
8. Coloring for adults helps spark creativity.
9. Coloring helps adults reconnect with their inner child.
10. Coloring books for adults help transport one to a time and a place faraway.

Being the Best You Can Be – The Perfect Balance Diet by Lissa Coffey

Imagine you’re outside, by a beautiful lake, enjoying the perfection of your surroundings. You feel comfortable, relaxed, as if you are an important part of it all, You are so in tune that it is as if you can hear nature speaking to you.

You see a swan glide past, and the swan is thinking to itself: “How wonderful it is to be a swan. I can take my time; life is serene. I am graceful and lovely. All is right with the world.”

And then you notice an eagle flying high overhead, and the eagle is thing: “Ah, what a joy it is to be an eagle. I am strong, and free. This is the life!:

A hummingbird flits past, and you can hear the humming bird is thinking: “I’m having so much fun on this glorious day. There’s so to see and do. I’m so glad I’m a humming bird and can move easily to all the things I love.”

Everything in nature has a purpose. We’re all connected. Sitting among the trees and looking at the clear blue sky you know that you are an important part of this connection. You breathe deeply and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and peace. No, imagine you’re in that same place, place, same time. When you hear nature speaking to you things are a bit different.

You see a swan gliding past, and the swan thinks to itself: “Oh, my. Why am I stuck being a swan? I would so much rather be like that little humming bird. I want to flit around like that! I feel so dumpy just floating here on this silly lake.”

Then the eagle flies overhead, and you read its thoughts: “Wow. Look at that swan down there. He’s got the good life. Why can’t I just hang out on the lake? Instead I’m up here working so hard. This isn’t fair. I’d rather be a swan.”

Then the humming bird flits by and thinks: “Really? That eagle is so lucky. She’s way up there with a great vantage point. She can go so far without even flapping her wings. I’m down here pumping away a million beats a minute! Man, I want to be an eagle.”

Somehow, this second scenario just doesn’t make sense, does it? Because this is not how nature operates! And yet, this is exactly what we do as human beings all the time. We fight our own nature. We compare ourselves to one another. We think we need to always be thinner, more beautiful, more successful, more something, anything! When the truth is that we are inherently perfect. If we are carrying around excess weight,or stress, or feeling bad about ourselves it is because we are out of balance, our lives are out of balance in one way or another. We can find that perfect state of balance, and regain our strength and confidence and energy to be the best that we can be.

The most important thing we can do for ourselves, to be our healthiest and happiest, body, mind, and spirit, is to know who we are. Some of us are swans, some of us are eagles, and some of us are humming birds. Each being is valid, each being has value, and each being brings his or her unique gifts to the world. when we know ourselves, and our own nature, we allow the best of ourselves to shine through. Nature operates through us. So why are we fighting it?

Daily Joy Corner

“Courage is being scared to death – and saddling up anyway.” — John Wayne

“The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” — Henry Havelock Elis

“It’s isn’t where you came from, its where you’re going that counts.” — Ella Fitzgerald

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” — Benjamin Spock

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net

May 29, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter April 2016

Holistic Home – The Mind and Clutter: Feng Shui For Mind, Body, Spirit, Space by Laura Benko

Mind clutter is negative thoughts, scattered thinking, self-doubts, cynicism, indecisiveness, procrastination, worry, and fear-based thinking. You can de-clutter your mind by having a clear focus of your daily goals, specific intentions, and a sense of inner strength. Think of all the clarity that you’ll have with your decision-making and how your creativity, intuition, or focus will thrive without the mental chaos that is an inevitable part of your busy life. Meditation, mantras, mental exercises, prayer, and a positive, new shift in perspective are your tools to make it happen.

For example, mantra helps to focus your mind when it is scattered and help to dispel negative thoughts. You might have a personal mantra or use can use one of these.

— Today I am calm, assured, confident, and flowing with certainty.

— I am taking into my life only what is absolutely needed.

— I am productive, resourceful, and wise in all tasks, choices, and statements I make.

— Today I will focus on seeing the positive, feeling the gratitude, and being at peace.

Say it to yourself nine times as you prepare for your day.

Go From Negative to Get to the Positive

A holistic mind means attracting the positive. Believe it or not, you can get there by visiting your dark side. By acknowledging the issue you want to change while holding the intention for constructive growth, you are in a state of progress, which is positive energy. Stagnant,stuck energy is the clutter of your soul. Forward movement whether it is the act of cleaning out a junk drawer or saying a mantra for personal development, is all positive energy. Positive energy own up to the negative and uses it as a tool to move forward. Positive energy begets itself. If you are emanating positivity, it will shine back on you. People who radiate negative will be repelled from you.

Another way to utilize your dark side for all it’s worth is to visit it quickly now and then to either realize how far you have come or how lucky you are. Use it as a reality check, and it will also increase compassion or gratitude in your life. When you are in the midst of hardship, try to visit an even darker place of a scenario that could be much worse. This concept may be counter intuitive at first, but it can be a strong power-shifter while in a bad place. Sit with that feeling for a few minutes. Then, feel the gratitude in knowing that is not your situation. allow your focus to be on visualizing a shining, healthy, ideal outcome. Remain steady with your vision, and remember not to get stuck in the dark – you are only dropping in for a quick visit to get your bearing and move on. Don’t let mental clutter – the doubting, sabotaging, cynical chatter – get in the way.

Living in the Now

Clutter creates stagnant energy. When you are stagnant, there is little growth happening, and you will tend to either live in the past and feel sad or live in the future and feel anxious. By clearing the clutter – internally and externally – you are allowing yourself to live holistically in the now. When yo have mental clutter, you are preoccupied with negative chatter, lists, doubt, distractions, and worries that are prohibiting you from being in the moment. When you have physical clutter, you can easily feel overwhelmed, exhausted, defeated, unproductive, and out of control. When you have spiritual clutter, you can subconsciously feel weighted down, irrational, emotional, and unstable. all of these negative feelings imprison you in a clutter rut, which keeps you stuck in either the past or future. You cannot fully live and enjoy life in the moment when you have mental, physical, and spiritual clutter within you and around you.

Dealing with Nostalgia

When you surround yourself with items from the past, it’s easy to live in the past. Living in homes that where not even a single place mat was changed over the last thirty years, occupants views on life seemed just as dusty and antiquated as their thirty-year old place mats. Are you keeping items because they were bequeathed to you, and you feel a sense of obligation? Are you holding on to that ugly frame that you secretly hate but can’t bear to throw out because it was a gift? Give it away to someone you think might enjoy it. Give it to charity. Get it out of your home. Donate unwanted gifts to chinese auctions and has great satisfaction knowing that someone will get an item they actually want.

It’s okay to have some mementos, as long as you carefully and honestly examine the origin of association attached to it. One way to begin to get some control with over-acquiring is when you first see an object, to be aware of what goes through your mind. See each item as one of two things: either it lifts your energy or it depletes it. If you feel neutral to items such as pots or pans, they nourish you, so uplifts. You can also look at items that either gives you feelings of peace, inspirational, joy gives you information. Also items could also remind you of people and receive fond memories of are indications. If you have a picture of a crabby old aunt, chances are it needs to replaced by possible a picture of the dog you love or people in your life that are important, or even a beautiful sunset or sunrise of a tropical place you visited.

Don’t keep things out of a sense of obligation or because they are familiar. The energetic manifestions of that subconscious feeling will snowball every time, and you’ll never know why you’re walking around so angry and bitter. If you don’t honestly it, let it go.

Spiritual Habits that Fills Home

Sacred habits can be small, positive acts. This can be done with simple actions from lighting a candle to clearing the house. Ever time you light a candle, hold a positive intention or make a wish and imagine it happening in vivid detail. Before you eat, gather hand around the table to share that you are happy and grateful for and focus on the good that is in your life. While clearing your home, thank it for providing shelter and space for memories and visualize golden,healing light ensconcing it. Create space in your home that encourages reflection or areas to medicate, and make sure you actually use it for those purposed. A clean and organized house has a lighter feel to it. Cutter impedes the flow of spirituality and creates a dense and heavy environment that feels anxious and ungrounded. Whatever your personal choices are for creating a sacred atmosphere, a home where spirituality prevails feels pure, light, and welcoming because it is filled with love.

The interior decoration of your home is a personal expression of who you are and who you would like to be. This journey of enhancing your intimate space and also enhance yourself along the way. With reflection and deliberate choices for your surrounds that you actively participate in, you can strengthen your voice and your goals. A home with soul is a welcoming, healthy home that holds personal and idealized vision of perfection. It is a place without fear and can intrinsically help transmute the negatives that can hold you back Don’t underestimate the energetic matrix of your chosen surrounds and the importance of your role in creating a home that fearlessly expresses your soul.

Joy and Inspiration Corner

“You are but not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more. To be more splendid. To be more extraordinary. To use every moment to fill yourself up.” — Oprah Winfrey –

“I have learned that success that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has over come while trying to succeed.” — Brooker T. Washington

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” — Maya Angelou

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net

April 9, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter March 2016

Reasons You Need to be Touched – 90 Days, Self Improvement by Tracy O Connor

Do you ever feel like you’re living in a bubble, surrounded by people but never touched? We live in such a busy, crowded world, yet it’s so easy to many of us to go days, even weeks or months without being touched by others.

While you might not notice the effects of not being touched right away, it can negatively affect your mood, your confidence and your health. We are only beginning to understand the holistic way our bodies work and the relationship between our emotional well being and our physical health.

Here are 6 reasons why you need to be touched on a regular basis.

1. Feel connected to others.We are social beings, and although we all fall in different places on the introversion – extroversion scale, we all need to have that sense of connection to other members of our tribe. While some of that connection can come from having conversations with others, touch also plays an important role in human communication.

2. Reduce anxiety. Simply touching another person can make us feel more secure and less anxious. It can make us feel grounded and safe and not so all alone. It’s not just children who could use a warm, reassuring hug to make things alittle better, so if you’re feeling like a bundle of nerves, go ahead and ask for a hug.

3. Bonding. Touch is one of the ways romantic partners bond with each other and parents bond with their children. When partners and families get busy and let touch go out the window, they’ll often find that they don’t feel as close and relationships suffer. Regular touch is one of the ways that we continually renew our bonds with those we love.

4. Lowers your blood pressure. Studies have shown that those that get regular touch often have lower blood pressure that those that don’t Even having a pet can have beneficial effects! Touch can also slow the heart rate and help speed recovery times from illness and surgery.

5. Improve your outlook. It’s hard to get into a pessimistic funk when you feel the confidence of being connect to others. Touch can make people feel more optimistic and positive and less cynical and suspicious. A positive, trusting attitude towards others can reduce tension in our daily lives and improve our relationships.

6. Give us the sensory input that we crave. Scientists are just discovering how truly important it is to exercise all our physical senses for proper brain and emotional development. All the various kinds of touch from butterfly kisses to deep tissue massage send our brain the physical inputs it needs to make sense of the world. So, along with touching other people and pets, make time to explore different textures and touch sensations such as letting cool sand run through your fingers or taking a warm relaxing bath.

Don’t let yourself get too busy that you starve yourself of touch. It’s important for your physical, mental and emotional well being to touch others and let others touch you.

The Happiness Lifestyle – I Want To Be Happier Right Now! by Jackie Wells Smith

Most people think of happiness as an emotional state like joy, excitement or loving feelings, but happiness is more than feeling good. The positive emotions normally associated with happiness are actually he end result of becoming a happier person. Lasting happiness is a lifestyle choice. It’s a set of skills that can be learned and applied in your own life.

Many people assume that happiness is getting the things they want like recognition, nice possessions or love. All of those things, as wonderful as they can be, are not happiness. Happiness is the starting place for getting the Happiness Lifestyle things you want from life. It begins by knowing who you are and what you want and need. If you are feeling happy for a reason, it’s probably not true happiness, but a temporary emotional state.

What the happiest people have in common is not cars or money or good looks; they have a mindset, or an attitude, for approaching life. This happiness mindset is a way of thinking about yourself and your life that attracts the kind of good feelings and positive results most people crave. The happiest people remain open to life. They’re not single-minded in their pursuit of a goal or object, believing this one thing will make them happy.

This happiness mindset can be learned, but it does take some time and attention. Like any skill, it must be practiced. The more you practice the skills of the happiness mindset, the more enjoyment, success and love you have in your life.

But what about right now? What if you need a little infusion of happiness today? Well, there are things you can do today – this very moment – that will immediately increase your feeling of well being.

1. Log off Facebook and phone a friend
2. Focus on People and on things
3. Go outside and get vitamin D
4. Think happy thoughts – listening to happy music
5. Get more sleep
6. Give back socially – make a donation
7. Skip the fast food

The Stress Factor – Your Body Speaks Your Mind by Deb Shapiro

Imagine you are trying to squeeze some toothpaste out of a tube but you have forgotten to take the top off (or to flip the lid!) What happens? The toothpaste has to find some other way out. This usually means that it will come out of the bottom of the tube or perhaps force a hole in side – whatever or where is the weakest point.

Now imagine that the tube of toothpaste is you. You are under pressure and beginning to experience psychological or emotional stress. But you do not take you lid off, as it were, by recognizing what is happening and taking time to relax or deal with your inner conflicts. So what happens to the mental or emotional pressure building up inside you? Eventually it has to find a way out, and if it can’t come out through he top (by being expressed and resolved), it will come out somewhere else. It will find the weakest point – whether through your digestive system, your nerves, your immune system, or your sleep patterns. Pushed down it becomes illness, depression, addiction, or anxiety; projected outward it becomes hostility, aggression, prejudice, or fear.

The clearest way to see how the mind directly affects the body is through stress. The cerebral cortex in the brain sounds the alarm whenever there is a form of perceived life-threatening or stressful activity. For instance, try remembering a gruesome scene from a movie, and you will feel the muscles in your back, shoulders, or stomach contract. The images are just in your mind, yet they trigger an instant response in your body.

Commit to Now – What About Now? Reminders for Being in the Moment by Gina Lake

The ego doesn’t want to commit to anything – a place, a relationship, a career – because it believes that something better may be possible, and it is willing to forgo what is present for the possibility of something better that isn’t present. Essence, on the other hand, is committed to whatever is. It doesn’t commit into the future because all that exists is the present, so it commits itself to that. That is the essential difference between the ego and Essence. The ego dreams and something better in the midst of whatever is, while Essence simply enjoys and commits attention and love to whatever is. In fact, the committing attention to anything that is present results in enjoyment. the ego enjoys so little because it commits attention what isn’t present and to what it doesn’t have, and suffers over that, instead of committing attention to whatever is. It loves its fantasies, dreams, and desires more than it loves reality.

Inspiration Corner

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all your ever have.” – Eckart Tolle –

“There is nothing deep down inside us except what we have put there ourselves.” – Richard Rorty

“Things do not change; we change.” – Henry David Thoreau

“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” – Rumi

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net

March 29, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter February 2016
Original Fear: Essential Wisdom For Getting Through the Storm by Thich Nhat Hanh

Many of us often find ourselves thinking of things that stir up feelings of fear and sorrow. We have all experienced some suffering in our past, and we often recall our past suffering. We revisit the past, reviewing it and watching the films of the past. But if we revisit these memories without mindfulness or awareness, every time we watch those images we suffer again.

Suppose you were abused as a young child. You suffered greatly. You were fragile and vulnerable. You were likely afraid all the time. You didn’t know how to protect yourself. Perhaps in your mind, you continue to be abused again and again, even though you are an adult now. You are no longer that child who was fragile and vulnerable, with no means of defense. Yet you continue to experience the suffering of the child because you always revisit those memories even though they are painful.

There is a film, an image stored in your consciousness. Every time your mind goes back to the past and you look at that image or watch that film, you suffer again. Mindfulness reminds us that it is possible to be in the here and now. It reminds us that the present moment is always available to us; we don’t have to live events that happened long ago.

Some of us have depression and continue to suffer even if the present situation everything looks all right. This is because we have a tendency to dwell in the past. We feel more comfortable making our home there, even if it holds a lot of suffering. That home is deep down in our subconscious, where the films of the past are always projected. Every night your subconscious goes back and watches those films to dwell in suffering again and again. The future you constantly worry about is nothing other than a projection of fear and desire from the past.

Stretching Always Start From The Inside Out – How Successful People Grow by John C. Maxwell

Get used to stretching yourself. Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be.
1. Few people want to stretch.
2. Settle for the status quo ultimately leads to dissatisfaction.
3. Stretching always starts from the inside out.
4. Stretching sets you apart from others.
5. Stretching can become a lifestyle.
6. Stretching gives you a shot at significance.
Most people have a dream. For some, it’s on the tip of their tongue, and for others, it’s buried deep in their hearts, but everyone has one. However, not very many people are pursuing it. What is stopping them? For that matter, what is stopping you? Most North American people want to lose weight, but they don’t make the effort to do so. I run across people all the time who tell me that they want to write a book, but when I ask, “have you started writing?” the answer is almost always “no.” Instead of wishing, want and waiting, people need to search inside themselves for reasons to start.

It’s wise to remember that our situation in life is mainly due to the choices we make and the actions we take – or fail to take. The older we are, the more responsible we are for our situation. If you are merely average or if you are no closer to your dream this year than you were last year, you can choose to accept it, defend it, cover it up, and explain it away. Or you can choose to change it, grow from it, and forge a new path.

Where do you find the internal impetus for stretching? Measure what you’re doing in relation to what you’re capable of. Measure yourself against yourself. Make a contest of it. If you have no idea what you might be capable of, talk to people who care about you and believe in you. Don’t have any people in your life who fit that description? Then go look for some. Find a mentor who can help you see yourself for who you could be, not who you currently are. And then use that image to inspire you to start stretching.
1. Stop looking over your shoulder. It’s difficult to focus on your past and change in the present.
2. If you want to grow and change, you must take risks. Innovation and progress are often initiated by people who push for change.
The greatest stretching seasons of life come when we do what we have never done, push ourselves harder, and reach in a way that is uncomfortable to us. That takes courage. But the good news is that it causes us to grow in ways we thought were impossible.

Authentic Transparency – Discovering Your Soul Signature by Panache Desai

How honest are we with ourselves? Do we tell ourselves the truth about our experience, about what we really want and need? How we really feel? We must learn to be profoundly honest, to tell ourselves the truth instead of responding from a place of social conformity or insecurity or lack of self-awareness.

Authentic transparency is the essence of to thine own self be true.” So often, we walk around lying to our selves. We don’t do this consciously. We don’t even realize we’re doing it. We fall into patterns. We go to the party, even though we don’t want to. We agree to a dinner, or a date, with someone who makes us uncomfortable. We are aching to speak up – but we don’t we’re afraid to be rude, or we worry that people won’t like us. Or we’ve simply gotten used to living in a constructed state.

Authentic transparency is not about being transparent to other people. It is, in fact, about being transparent to yourself. We’ve gotten to know our fear, sadness, anger, guilt, and shame. Take baby steps toward loving all aspects of yourself. Consider this: If we were honest with ourselves, how much easier would life become?

Make the commitment to be honest with yourself about what you’re feeling. Fully own it. The funny part is that the very second you have this awareness, it automatically shifts your reality. You begin to see that, in becoming authentically transparent, your relationship to yourself and to everyone around you changes completely, and – I promise you – for the better.

Positives for Life’s Journey

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” –– Dave Bafry

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” –– Maya Angelou

“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” –– Victor Borge

“Mixing humour and harsh reality is a very human behaviour, it’s the way people stay sane in their daily lives.” — Jorge Garcia

“There are two ways of spreading lift: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” — Edith Wharton

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net
February 10, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter January 2016

The Top 5 Foods For Sleep

1. Oatmeal

While traditionally considered a breakfast food, oatmeal can actually help induce sleep. Because it is a complex carbohydrates, oatmeal triggers a rise in insulin production that releases sleep-inducing chemicals. Oats are also rich in vitamin B6, which has been demonstrated to alleviate stress and anxiety leading to less worries and more zzz’s.

2. Raw Honey

The natural sugar found in honey raises our insulin levels enough to allow tryptophan – the compound notorious for that “turkey coma” at Thanksgiving – to enter our brains more easily. Mixing a spoonful of honey into a cup of herbal tea before bed promotes relaxation.

3. Nuts

Almonds contain both tryptophan and magnesium, which help to reduce muscle and nerve function while steadying your heart rhythm. The melatonin in walnuts not only improves sleep but also offers antioxidant protection from diseases such as cancer, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.

4. Calcium-rich leafy greens

A study published in the European Neurology Journal found that during the rapid eye movement (REM) phase of sleep, calcium levels are the highest, and disruption or absence of REM deep sleep is directly related to calcium deficiency. Leafy green provide an easily absorbed source of calcium, so when looking for a bedtime snack, reach for dale chips or a small salad.

5. Dark Chocolate

Dark chocolate contains serotonin, helping to relax both your body and mind. Dark chocolate also contains the chemical phenylethylamine, which boosts endorphins to promote feelings of love and excitement. A small square before bed can help you go to sleep feeling happy.

MIND – Return to Essence: How to be in the Flow and Fulfill Your Life’s Purpose by Gina Lake

When we are in the flow, we experience whatever we are experiencing without telling a story about it. Thoughts may arise, but we recognize them as thoughts as an attempt on the part of the ego to define the moment, because that is what the ego tries to do. Meanwhile, we just stay in the experience of the moment, which is forever morphing into something else.

The mind tries to draw us away from experience into a mental world that simulates an experience. It tries to draw us into an imagined story about the experience. If it succeeds, that story becomes our reality. If we agree to go to that mental world, feelings will also arise and add reality to that world, but it is still a mental world. Once we act on those thoughts and feelings, we create new experiences.

In this way, the ego does manage to shape our life, and that will go on as long as we allow it to. Most people’s lives are shaped nearly entirely by the ego. Essence allows this because it enjoys the growth that results, but living this way is full of suffering. Essence offers other possibilities for our life that we may miss if we aren’t in the flow.

Recognizing the flow is easy – it feels good. Anyone who performs at his or her peak is familiar with what it feels like to be in the low. However, you don’t have to be at the top of your field to experience the flow. You can experience it right now.

Notice how the moment – the flow – is always changing into something else. What is arising in this new moment? Urges for action also arise and things happen, so in the next moment, you may find yourself doing something else. Being in the flow is much simpler than you think. Instead of just being, doing arises from the moment without thinking. This spontaneous doing is an amazing experience when you first become aware of it.

Habits That Bring Us into the Flow

Pay attention to the egoic mind is a bad habit, but we can establish new habits that counteract our egoic programming and bring us into the flow. Here are some suggestions for developing some habits that will bring you into the flow and help you stay there:

1. Make a habit of recognizing the egoic mind and not indulging it. When a negative thought arises, don’t believe it. See it as ego. When a complaint arises, don’t speak it. See it as ego. When a judgement arises, see it as ego. When a comparison arises, see it as ego. When a story arises, see it as ego. Look for words like always and never. They are indicators of a story.

2. Make a habit of noticing “I” in your thoughts. What follows is almost always ego. Don’t get involved with that thought. See it as ego and let it go.

3. Make a habit of noticing your feelings. Any thought that makes you feel bad comes from the ego, not Essence. Identify the mistaken assumptions, or beliefs, behind the feeling.

4. Make a habit of noticing Essence as it appears as Awareness. Feel the energy of your true Self. Notice how it has no location. When a thought arises, ask, “Who is aware of this thought?” When a feeling arises, ask, “Who is aware of this feeling?” When “I” arises, ask, “Who is are of “I”? These questions help you stay identified with Essence as Awareness. Experience what Essence is experiencing.

5. Make a habit of asking for assistance from unseen helpers. Affirm your desire to be in the flow.

6. Make a habit of doing things that return you to Essence: meditate, play music, sing, dance, create, garden, hike. Do what you love.

7. Make a habit of reading books that remind you of who you are.

8. Make a habit of spending time with those who are committed to living in the flow.

9. Make a habit of listening for guidance and acting on it. Doing that will develop your intuition and your connection to unseen helpers.

10. Make a habit of saying “yes” to whatever is happening. Be curious about whatever is arising. Stay alert and present to whatever is happening, without judging or evaluating it.

11. Make a habit of expressing gratitude. That will increase you ability to experience it. Gratitude is a sign that you are in Essence.

12. Make a habit of forgiving yourself when you indulge in egoic behavior. It’s not easy moving beyond the programming we were given! Being gentle and kind with yourself will drop you into Essence.

SPIRIT- Seeking Happiness: Essays About True Nature by Nirmala

Q: Do we seek happiness because of a void, or is it our nature to long for more?

A: We do seek first for happiness and something better and then for spiritual truth to try to fill the void, or emptiness, within. But both are doomed to failure because everything we put in the emptiness and every experience we have are dissolved back into emptiness. Trying to fill the emptiness is like trying to fill a bucket with lots of holes – it never fills up no matter how much water we put in! Eventually after massive amounts of failure, we get so tired of seeking and trying to find happiness that we finally just let ourselves experience the emptiness itself. What is emptiness like? Is emptiness a bad sensation? What is present in the emptiness? What are the qualities of the emptiness itself? One of the many surprises you discover is that joy and happiness actually flow out of the emptiness. When seeking stops, it’s possible to notice the happiness and peace that are present in the emptiness and actually present in every moment.

If you’re still seeking or wanting something, including happiness, then usually the best thing to do is keep seeking. The worst that can happen is you’ll wear yourself out even sooner! But it’s also possible that you’re already exhausted enough from seeking to just rest and let yourself be empty. Some joy, peace, or love may be noticed in that emptiness, or the experience of emptiness may trigger another round of trying to fill the emptiness, which will just wear you out some more.

When happiness appears, just pay attention to it. Where is it really coming from? Does getting or knowing something really make you happy, or does it just allow you to rest for a moment and finally experience the happiness that has always been there? Does happiness ever show up even when you don’t get what you want? Is happiness there when you’re just still for a moment and you finally let yourself be empty:? Eventually, you discover that you can trust the emptiness more than your seeking.

Instant Pep Talk Corner

You can’t be both awesome and negative. Choose one!!

Do not fear change. Change fear.

Live your happiest life by knowing often Plan B is even better than Plan A. Ditto on Plan C.

View failure as “fullure”, full of lessons to learn.

You can’t force people to be or do what you want. All you can do is share your desires clearly, and hope they keep an open mind and open heart.

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net

January 29, 2016
Time For Self Newsletter November 2015
BODY – New Habits, New Life! 30 Days – Change Your Habits, Change Your Life by Marc Reklau

It takes about 21 days to implement a new habit. About 2500 years ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle said that you change your life by changing your habits. The coaching process is, in its essence, a process of changing the client’s habits over time by introducing new ways of doing things and substituting old behaviors. The most important step in the process of changing your habits is to become aware of them! Did you hear the saying, “if you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting the results you are getting?” Einstein himself defined the purest form of insanity as “doing the same things over and over, expecting a different result.”

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” — Aristotle

Is this you? Don’t worry and keep reading! If you want different results in your life then start doing things differently. You can change and it’s relatively easy if you put in some work and discipline. Develop habits that steer you towards your goals. If you do that – success in your life is guaranteed. Some examples of “bad” habits that might be good to get rid of include being constantly late, working late, eating junk food, procrastinating, interrupting while somebody else is talking or being a slave to your phone. Our goal is to introduce 10 new healthy daily habits into your life within the next three months. I don’t want you to be overwhelmed, so why not introduce three habits each month? With time these habits will improve your life considerably and they will substitute ineffective habits which until now have drained your energy.

Action Step: What 10 habits are you going to introduce? It’s not necessary to introduce BIG changes. The usual habits my clients introduce are:
- Exercise 3 times a week
- Focus on the positive
- Work on your goals
- Walk by the beach or in the woods
- Spend more time with your family
- East more vegetables
- Meet with friends
- Read 30 minutes a day
- Spend 15 min on “alone time” a day
It helps to have a visual display! And don’t forget to reward yourself for your successes!

Start right now by making a list of 10 daily habits you will introduce into your life starting today.

MIND – Change as a Choice, Instead of a Reaction – Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza

It seems that human nature is such that we balk at changing until things get really bad and we’re so uncomfortable that we can no longer go on with business as usual. This is as true for an individual as it is for a society. We wait for a crisis, trauma, loss, disease, and tragedy before we get down to looking at who we are, what we are doing, how we are living, what we are feeling, and what we believe or know, in order to embrace true change. Often it takes a worst-case scenario for us to begin making changes that support our health, relationships, career, family, and future. My message is: Why wait?

We can learn and change in a state of pain and suffering, or we can evolve in a state of joy and inspiration. Most embrace the former. To go with the latter, we have to make up our minds that change will probably entail a bit of discomfort, some inconvenience, a break from a predictable routine, and a period of not knowing.

Overcoming time examines how we either live in the anticipation of future events or repeatedly revisit part memories (or both) until the body begins to believe it is living in a time other than the present moment. The latest research supports the notion that we have a natural ability to change the brain and body by thought alone so that it looks biologically like some future event has already happened. Because you can make thought more real than anything else, you can change who you are from brain cell to a gene, given the right understanding. When you learn how to use your attention and access the present, you will enter through the door to the quantum field, where all potentials exist.

Survival versus creation illustrates the distinction between living in survival and living in creation. Living in survival entails living in stress and functioning as a materialist, believing that the outer world is more real than the inner world. When you are under the gun of the fight-or-flight nervous system being run by its cocktail of intoxicating chemicals, you are programmed to be concerned only about your body, the things or people in your environment, and your obsession with time. Your brain and body are out of balance. You are living a predictable life. However, when you are truly in the elegant state of creation you are no body, no thing, no time – you forget about yourself. You become pure consciousness, free from the chains of the identity that needs the outer reality to remember who it thinks it is.

Three Brains: Thinking to Doing to Being, you will embrace the concept that you have three “brains” that allow you to move from thinking to doing to being. Even better, when you focus your attention to the exclusion of your environment, your body and time, you can easily move from thinking to being without having to do anything. In that state of mind, your brain does not distinguish between what is happening in the outer world of reality and what is happening in the inner world of your mind. Thus if you can mentally rehearse the desired experience via thought alone, you will experience the emotions of that event before it has physically manifested. Now you are moving into a new state of being because your mind and body are working as one. When you begin to feel like some potential future reality is happening to you in the moment that you are focusing on it, you are rewriting your automatic habits, attitudes, and other unwanted subconscious programs.

SPIRIT – Seeing Crisis as Danger or as an Opportunity – Living Magically by Gill Edwards

The Chinese word for crisis – Wei-Chi – has two meanings: danger and opportunity. For those who cling to the mundane world, the coming crisis does indeed mean danger; all our former certainty about the world “out there” is under threat. But for those who are willing to let go to break free from their chains, to develop alternative visions, the road ahead is one of unimaginable opportunity and experience.

To see a world in a grain of sand,

And a heaven in a wild flower,

Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,

And eternity in an hour.

(William Blake)

As we approach this quantum leap in consciousness, I believe we are shifting from a physical to a metaphysical vision of reality – from matter to energy, from materialism to mentalism, from an inert universe to an evolving, conscious universe. We are beginning to move beyond the limitations of the rational mind, beyond the five senses, beyond space and time, to explore the inner realms, to stretch the boundaries of our consciousness. We are reaching beyond our human potential towards our spiritual potential.

For those who have spiritual beliefs of any kind – who are used to taking a leap of faith – embracing this “crazy possibility might come quite easily. After all, we are moving towards a mystical world view: a vision in which consciousness is the primary reality, we are all ultimately one, and reality is an illusion that we create. These are aspects of the perennial philosophy – the ancient wisdom that transcends cultural, scientific and religious dogma – which has been spread by prophets, mystics, and visionaries for thousands of years.

Buddha’s Corner

“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road does not mean they are lost.” — Dalai Lama XIV

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” — Dalai Lama XIV

“If your compassion does not include your Self, it is incomplete.” — Buddha

“Our own life has to be our message.” — Thich Nhat Hahn

TIME FOR SELF NEWSLETTER contributed by:

Heather Young, owner of Time for Self
Registered Massage Therapist (RMT) / Yuen Method™/ Holistic Practitioner
Certified Personal Transformation Coach / Alternative and Energetic Medicines

403-358-2362 — Red Deer, Alberta, Canada

www.timeforself.net
November 25, 2015