“JUST WHEN THE CATERPILLAR THOUGHT THE WORLD
WAS OVER, IT BECAME A BUTTERFULY”
As I have sat in this gooey energy of life for almost 1 year, I sometimes have a visual of what a caterpillar must go through to order to transform, receive strong wings to fly, soar and become magnificent in the end.
Going through a major life transition, for example Covid 19 right now, is just like the transformation of a caterpillar to butterfly experience. We humans do not physically but psychologically experience this transmutation. All of us will experience metamorphosis several times during our lives, exchanging one identity for another. You’ve probably already changed from baby to child to adolescent to adult—these are obvious, well-recognized stages in the life cycle. But even after you’re all grown up, your identity isn’t fixed. You may change marital status, become a parent, switch careers, get sick, win the lottery.
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self, like we are going through right here, now, will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis. I don’t know if this is emotionally stressful for caterpillars, but for humans it can be hell on wheels. The best way to minimize trauma is to understand the process.
PHASE 1: DISSOLVING (AKA DEATH & REBIRTH)
The first phase of change is the scariest, especially because we aren’t taught to expect it. It’s the time when we lose our identity and are left temporarily formless: person soup. Most people fight like crazy to keep their identities from dissolving. “This is just a blip,” we tell ourselves when circumstances rock our world. “I’m the same person, and my life will go back to being the way it was.”
Sometimes this is true. But in other cases, when real metamorphosis has begun, we run into a flurry of “dissolving” experiences. We may feel that everything is falling apart, that we’re losing everyone and everything. Dissolving feels like death, because it is—it’s the demise of the person you’ve been.
PHASE 2: IMAGINING (AKA DREAMING AND SCHEMING)
For those of us who have just a few tiny control issues, Phase 2 is as welcome as rain after drought. This is when the part of you that knows your destiny, the image in your psyche, will begin giving you instructions about how to reorganize the remnants of your old identity into something altogether different.
You’ll know you’re beginning Phase 2 when your mind’s eye starts seeing images of the life you are about to create. These can’t be forced—like dissolving, they happen to you—and they are never what you expected. You’re becoming a new person, and you’ll develop traits and interests your old self didn’t have. You may feel compelled to change your hairstyle or wardrobe, or redecorate your living space. The old order simply seems wrong, and you’ll begin reordering your outer situation to reflect your inner rebirth.
PHASE 3: RE-FORMING (AKA THE HERO’S SAGA)
As your dreams become schemes, you’ll begin itching to make them come true. This signals Phase 3, the implementation stage of the change process. Phase 3 is when you stop fantasizing about selling your art and start submitting work to galleries, starting a new hobby, taking a course you always want to take. You’ll feel motivated to do real, physical things to build a new life. And then…(drum roll, please)…you’ll fail. Repeatedly.
I’ve gone through Phase 3 many times and watched hundreds of clients do the same. I’ve never seen a significant scheme succeed on the first try. Re-forming your life, like anything new, complex, and important, inevitably brings up problems you didn’t expect. That’s why, in contrast to the starry eyes that are so useful in Phase 2, Phase 3 demands the ingenuity of Thomas Edison and the tenacity of a pit bull.
PHASE 4: FULL FLIGHT (AKA THE PROMISED LAND)
Phase 3 is like crawling out of your cocoon and waiting for your crumpled, soggy wings to dry and expand. Phase 4 is the payoff, the time when your new identity is fully formed and able to fly.
What to Do
The following strategies—which can help you optimize this delightful situation—are about fine-tuning, not drastic transformation.
You’ve just negotiated a scary and dramatic transformation, and you deserve to savor your new identity. Spend time every day focusing on gratitude for your success.
Make Small Improvements
Find little ways to make your new life a bit less stressful, a bit more pleasurable.
Know That Another Change is Just Around the Bend
There’s no way to predict how long you’ll stay in Phase 4. Don’t attribute your happiness to your new identity; security lies in knowing how to deal with metamorphosis, whenever it occurs.
Phase 4 Mantra
“Everything is changing… and that’s okay.”
UP AND COMING EVENT ON LINE EVENT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING
Just for ME
February 27, 2021
A day dedicated to giving you empowerment tools to use in your daily life, all in an online setting
For more information go to
Spring ONLINE Wellness Expo
April 9 – 18, 2021
Join us for this interactive ONLINE event. Many amazing people sharing what they are passionate about, that they love introducing to others to help them. Free to “attend”.
for more information:
Access Bars $80
Touch the Body, Heal the Mind, and Calm the Spirit! This is a powerful technique that calms the mind through gently pressing 32 points on your head. It promotes peace-of-mind by way of reduction of anxiety, stress and depression, resulting in clearer thoughts and an overall feeling of balance and wellbeing.
The 32 points are actual “energy” that runs through and around your head connecting to different aspects of your life. These points are called “bars.” Each bar stores the electromagnetic component of all your thoughts, ideas, attitudes, decisions and beliefs …...(Read More)
Change is inevitable, but transformation is by conscious choice. – Heather Ash Amara –
Surrender is not failure:
It’s letting go of negativity and a giving space for
positivity to fill
Transformation is a process, and as life happens there are tons of ups and downs. It’s a journey of discovery.
– Rick Warren –
Within you is the power to rise above any situation or struggle, and transform into the brightest, strongest version of you EVER!
Transformation is not a future event. It is a present activity. – Jillian Michaels –
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
– Maya Angelou –
Transformation literally means going beyond your form.
– Wayne Dyer –
Not All Transformations are Visible
The wings of transformation are born of patience and struggle. – Janet S. Dickens –
” I only ask to be free, The butterflies are free.” -Charles Dickens –
“Don’t be afraid. Change is such a beautiful thing”, said the butterfly. – Sabrina Newby –